Here is a private note I wrote to myself as I celebrated the 4th of July with myself in Antigua, Guatemala as I realized I had spent over 120 days traveling. I’m publishing it here to give you insight into what consumes my mind now after 4 months of traveling. Not everything below is an absolute belief, more a raw note from a current stream of consciousness.
In full is a mix of uneasiness about the future and content with my growth and sense of purpose on this trip. Here it is unedited:
Everything I held important before is not. [Exaggerated of course]
Everything I stressed over was stupid.
I believe Happiness is attained through achievement?
Physically, by climbing a mountain and having your body feel severely tired.
Or Mentally through creating a website and launching it.
So Happiness is then the remembrance of accomplishment?
How can I then be happy living somewhere again full time where I have set routines and no variability in my days?
I don’t want to simply live like I did before. I can’t.
I was lying to myself saying I was successful and happy. I wasn’t.
I wasn’t Bradley Rossman, the best version of myself I envision I can be. I was complacent with being average. And letting others pull me into their image of ‘success’.
I control everything. In my life, in my career, in my travels, in my happiness.
And the one variable that can allow me to live how I want is money. Control money and you can control everything else. The other is time. Time ticks no matter what. Money is needed no matter what. So control both.
All I wanted was some respect, respect for the talents I know I have.
But I’ve been waiting for others to confirm my talent. When it’s always been on me to show my talents.
You want to be happy. Become happy.
To me:
Growth = Happiness
Everything you do make sure it’s building towards your overall happiness. Your overall highest perceived form of self.
Have a reason for doing. Your life is always building towards that.
The one constant going forward is you have to change.
Not sure what exactly what you the reader can take away from this, but I’m sharing it nonetheless. A note to self to stay committed to the changes I want to make in my life.